Presque Vu
- May 31, 2019
- 3 min read
by C. Cimmone
1. He loved me. He also loved cocaine and strippers. I didn’t mind fucking him on sheets covered with shimmery left-overs. He slumped at my front door about it all while I hid my new beau in the bedroom closet. My mother still asks about him.
2. He went off to law school and I stayed behind. Before he left he carried me to the hospital. He played his guitar while I recovered from my suicide attempt. He never got mad at me. I should have followed him to law school.
3. He begged me not to have an abortion. The baby died anyway. I fell in love with him after that, but he left me for the pipe. He packs the rock and he rolls the smoke.
4. He was too young when we fucked. His mother didn’t speak English. He drove four hours with a diamond ring. I met him for lunch last summer and he gave me his ex-wife’s Victoria Secret bras he had in his truck.
5. He protected me with his big muscles when we walked downtown at night. I broke up with him and he climbed up the wall to my apartment and busted the back door. He didn’t go to jail, so he called me the next day to ask me out for Valentine’s Day. He gave me a disease and I still laugh about it.
6. He only gets this sentence.
7. He always had a pretty girlfriend. I finally got the chance to fuck him, so I made him a fried burrito in my microwave. I didn’t fuck him, so I wrote a story about his disease. He doesn’t know I published the story.
8. He fucked a girl in Texas. His mother thought she knew about the whole thing. She didn’t know about the dick pills he took to Texas. He didn’t think my dick pill jokes were funny. He choked me in the closet and I drove to the gas station to cry.
9. He was my beau’s best friend. I drank vodka and fucked him nine times in a hotel. He told me how good I was in person. It’s a shame his girlfriend doesn’t understand.
10. He drank too much, so I stole his cash each morning he was in bed recovering. He kicked in the front door of my apartment and I ran down the stairs in my panties. His mother loved me and I loved her. She wrote me a letter when I left to tell me Sunday was his favorite day for whiskey. He still calls me every Sunday night.
11. He was everyone’s favorite fucking person. I gave him my washing machine after I kicked him out for fucking teenagers in Russia. He told Amy he would sink a bullet in his brain. I was glad to hear this.
12. He liked Back Page hookers and Adderall. He taught me how to two-step while his wife texted him that he was a “piece of shit.” Maybe I should have texted her back.
C. Cimmone is an author and comic specializing in blue and observational comedy, short fiction, and narrative nonfiction. Cimmone serves as contributing author for Arouse Magazine and editor-at-large for Trampset. She also is a contributing journalist for The Austinot and has served as a volunteer reader for The Literary Nest literary magazine. Her prose has been featured in The Fiction Pool, The Penmen Review, GNU Journal, Embodied Effigies, and Belle Reve Literary Journal. Her creative nonfiction piece “Chip” was recognized as the Judge’s Choice in Heart and Mind Zine literary magazine in 2016. Print publications showcasing her narrative nonfiction include Crux Magazine, 2015 Story Shelter Anthology, and Jokes Review inaugural issue. Cimmone’s chapbook When I Was Alive was released via Underground Voices and is available on both Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Follow her on Twitter @diefunnier
