An Interview about Happiness

Dec 8, 2017
3 min read

by Kate Tagai

Can you tell me about your happiest day?

My happiest?

Yes, your happiest day. What was it?

Why do you want to know?

It seems relevant to our interests. Do you have one?

Of course. Everyone has one.

So, what is your happiest day?

My absolute happiest?

You’re stalling. Just say the first thing that comes to mind.

I was excited when my brother was born. But I was jealous, too, knowing everything would change, and curious about what he looked like.

Is that your happiest?

Yes. No. Was I happy? I was lots of things.

So then, what is your happiest day? Just the first one that pops into your head.

My wedding day. Aren’t you supposed to be happiest on your wedding day?

Are you asking me or telling me?

*Silence*

It is generally assumed to be a happy day. Is it yours?

I guess.

You aren’t sure?

I was mostly afraid. It’s a big thing. The biggest commitment I’d ever made.

Well then?

I didn’t really trust my own judgment. I said it because it is supposed to be true. But, maybe not actually my happiest day. My mother got food poisoning. My new husband got so drunk he was hungover for two days afterwards.

Do I ask again?

No. Let me think. Yesterday was good.

What did you do yesterday?

I weeded my garden, sat on the deck basking in the sun and reading, then treated myself to a fancy coffee and pastry downtown.

It sounds like every Sunday. It sounds boring and slightly bourgeois.

That’s true, but I was happy.

So, that is your happiest day, yesterday?

Yes. No. For now. For this week. Can you ask me about my happiest moment? A full day is too long. There is too much pressure to choose. Ask me about moments.

Ok. We’ll start there then. What is your happiest moment?

When I first walk into a bookstore or a thrift shop, the dusty smell of them and the potential.

That is a general moment, I want a specific moment from your life. What about the moment you found out you were pregnant?

That was my husband’s happiest moment.

Not yours?

No. I curled on the floor of the bathroom and cried for over an hour. I felt I’d lost a part of myself that day.

What about birth? Was giving birth to your son your happiest moment?

Nope. Though, I don’t actually remember much of it, so it could be.

I think to qualify as the happiest, you need to remember the moment. So what is one that you remember? What is your happiest moment?

You want a specific one?

Yes.

Not general like the first warm day of spring or finding a beautiful flower in bloom or my cat purring on my lap?

No. Those are good, but those could be anyone’s moment. What is specific to your moment?

The happiness that is truly, specially yours?

*Silence*

Ok. I’ve got one. Last week it was so hot it felt like my brain was melting, so we went to get an ice cream cone. The shop had ginger ice cream with pieces of candied ginger. My grandmother’s favorite flavor. That first lick was hot and spicy and cold and sweet dripping down my throat, cooling me from the inside. I could close my eyes and for a moment my grandmother stood beside me. That was a happy moment.

That’s the moment you want to go with?

It was a powerful, good moment. It was really hot outside. I also love the moments when my husband puts his hand on my lower back when we are in public, like standing in line at the grocery store, you know, those everyday moments. He grew up in a place where married couples don’t sit with each other in public and never, ever touch. It is a thing he has learned to show me he is there for support. It is so sexy.

So, touching in public and ice cream.

Yep. Also that moment when you are reading, but the book is so amazing that you stop seeing the words and just absorb it as images directly to your brain. I love that moment.

You are drifting into generalities again.

I get excited when I anticipate the happiness something will bring. Ice cream or a good book or a hike. But no moment stands out above the rest. They blend into a general contented patina over my memories.

Are you happy?

Well…

*Silence*

Well… Does anyone ever answer that?

Kate Tagai is a cartoonist and writer living in Maine. Readers can find her essays on McSweeney’s Internet Tendency and Hawaii Pacific Review. She likes to write in nontraditional forms.