Two Suitcases

by Amy Cipolla Barnes

Perfecto Capucine

I’ve heard through the writer grapevine that I should bring two suitcases to AWP. The first packed with things I need: clothes, toiletries, books to be signed, snacks. And also an empty suitcase for books, journals, stickers and literary swag and Philly souvenirs I want to bring back. I’ll check the weather report before I go. Going to AWP in Philadelphia in March means I won’t pack shorts and tank tops.

I think the “two suitcase” rule can also apply to how we write, especially in flash fiction. The first sentence or paragraph of a story is that first suitcase. As writers, we pack in information to guide the rest of the story: characters, POV, tense, touchpoint objects, back story. I’ve always imagined novel writers have stacks of imaginary luggage like old-fashioned trunks and train cases. In flash fiction and short conferences, a carry-on is really enough.

I’ll likely be sitting on my luggage to close it because I’ve packed a LBD and enough socks for all the AWP panelists to share. As a writer I tend to pack ALL the things into my first sentences or paragraph too. I’ve looked back at early drafts, and they read like a bulging suitcase. I have the idea my opening needs to say ALL the things and tell the reader and show the reader. However, I’ve learned it can be enough to give readers just enough to unpack throughout the story. AWP is only 5 days. In a 500-word flash, packing the right words is equally important.

My second suitcase for AWP IS going to be empty. That’s the plan. I’m guessing at least one pocket will have something extra crammed in it. What goes in the second suitcase when you write? Sometimes, nothing at all. White space on the page can be a good thing; flash fiction can be very dense prose. Leaving space lets your reader take a breath or two and lets them fill in the blanks of that empty space. Giving them just enough back story, character and setting details also allows them to read with their own life lens.

I will be repacking my AWP suitcase until the last minute so I can’t offer any advice there. As you edit your flash fiction, try these simple ideas on packing only the essentials.

Examine your first line/first paragraph

Make a list of everything you’ve packed into that prose “suitcase.” Break it down into the most simple things. If your first paragraph/opening line suitcase feels over full, you may need to check the weather report.

Look to see if you’ve included a lot of character name(s), setting, movement between places, family members, significant others, objects, secondary character mentions, foreshadowing, back story, sensory details about what your character(s) is doing, wearing, eating, touching and seeing.

Examine that initial list of “suitcase” contents

If you’re going to AWP, do you pack things that (probably) aren’t essential? Bermuda shorts in case it’s 80 in March in PA? A wedding dress? Tuxedo? Clown nose? Maracas? Stilettos? Top hat? A gallon of milk? Your childhood art? Your mother’s silver tea set? What really needs to be packed in that suitcase to convey your story?

Unless your character is getting married, eloping to Vegas or is a modern Miss Havisham, the wedding dress can go. Do you really need four colors of nail polish or fourteen journals or an industrial size bag of M&Ms? Can you add it into the story later on/pick it up at a store? Note to self: yes you can.

The End

Does that closing sentence push things into your second suitcase? Does it keep you from bringing home signed copies of your friends’ books? Does it moralize? Does it sum up the point of your entire story when you’ve already done a great job at telling the story? Does it force your reader into only a limited view? Does it keep readers from putting the lens of their own life experiences into the story? Is there space to take a breath?

Packing Tip #1: Streamline your first sentence/paragraph

Look at your list again. Are those things/people/names/emotions/sensory responses: mentioned again, guiding the story, memorable, unique, an essential part of the story?

Packing Tip #2: Unpack/cut your last line

Sometimes, packing AND writing are really about editing. The old saying about taking off one piece of jewelry before leaving the house applies to flash fiction too. Ask yourself some questions.

-Does your closing line sound like it belongs in a Hans Christian Anderson story?

-Do you slip out of a more immersive POV to get in your main character’s head and tell the reader things?

-Ultimately, is the last line necessary? Cut it. Make the hard decision. Read the story again. Put those doorknocker earrings back in the jewelry box. Read the story out loud. Sleep on it. Do you honestly miss the last line (or the earrings or the top hat)?

Ask someone to help you unpack/pack the story

An outside opinion can help you decide if you need to take three (!) pale pink cardigans or a unicycle to AWP. Although a pink-cardigan-wearing-unicycle rider might make for an interesting reading, the truth is you can probably do without the unicycle or three of nearly the same sweaters. Those same outside eyes can help you notice you’ve used three very similar character names and four cities in your first paragraph or told the main character’s entire life story from childhood in that same paragraph too.