Jesus, Mary and Joseph!

by Sheree Shatsky

 Meadow Marie

My mother and I celebrate Christmas on July 4th.

We decorate the palm tree in the front yard with bird feeders and hang a bat house from the tallest frond.

“Watch out for the bats,” my mother says, holding the ladder. “They sleep the day away in the tip top.”

I adjust the kerchief tied over my mouth, my defense against bat guano, ebola, bleed out, death. I shiver away the thoughts in the 100 degree heat. “I know, I know,” I say. My reply sounds more like ho ho ho.

“Aren’t you the festive one! I knew you’d come around.”

We blanket the grass below with red hibiscus and stick a sparkler in each pot to light at dusk. My mother beams. “Gorgeous! So fun!”

She framed her argument to bump Christmas back six months as a business decision. “It’s a good way to save money. No holiday lights to raise the electric bill.”

“What lights? We don’t hang lights. You always say red and green bulbs make a house look like a tavern.”

“No emotional impulse gift buying,” she went on, counting on her fingers. “No ugly Christmas sweaters costing $40 each. No snow.”

I looked as her if she’d grown two heads. “We live in Florida.”

“Spray snow, for the windows. It’s hard to scrape off and costs extra money for cleaning products. Where was I? No snacks for carolers…”

“Again, we live in Florida. We don’t open the door. For anyone. Ask Grandma.”

She shrugged. “She didn’t wait outside that long.”

“Thirty minutes! Knocking. That’s what she told me.”

“She should have called first. Anyway, Christmas is just a date on the calendar. Nothing says we can’t celebrate any time we want.”

I waited for lightning to strike. “Uh, some people might disagree.”

“Oh that.” She waved me off. “ We can celebrate two birthdays, Jesus and America!”

My mother circles the Christmas Palm, finger on her chin. “You know what the hibiscus need? A tiny patriotic flag beside each sparkler! I have a few from Memorial Day in the garage.”

I hunt for the fire extinguisher.

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Sheree Shatsky writes short fiction believing much can be conveyed with a few wild words. Recent work has appeared at The Runcible Spoon, Bending Genres, Virtual Zine, Defenestration and New Flash Fiction Review with work forthcoming at The Dead Mule School of Southern Literature and Saw Palm: Florida Literature and Art. She is twice-nominated for Best Microfiction 2020 by Fictive Dream and MoonPark Review. Read more of her work at http://www.shereeshatsky.com . She tweets @talktomememe.