I Don’t Know How to Feed My Children

by Shannon Frost Greenstein

Reggie B

Breakfast: Three (3) 24-ounce coffees One (1) cigarette

Childhood was rough.

Nature and nurture conspired

to sabotage my brain.

I never learned

to care for myself;

I never learned

to care about myself.

Lunch: One-half (1/2) Lean Cuisine Two (2) 20-ounce Diet Cokes One (1) Hershey’s Kiss Two (2) cigarettes

The eating disorder

stuck around.

The darkness of deprivation

and self-loathing

defined the next decade.

To overcome the voices

whispering my worthlessness

was a Herculean task.

Dinner: One Half (1/2) Caesar salad (minimal dressing) One (1) 24-ounce coffee Five (5) Gobstoppers Three (3) cigarettes

These days

the children

represent years of recovery;

These days

the children

constitute all of my joy.

These days

the children

expect to be fed

but I still have no idea

how food is supposed to work.

---

Shannon Frost Greenstein (she/her) resides in Philadelphia with her children and soulmate. She is the author of These Are a Few of My Least Favorite Things, a full-length book of poetry, and An Oral History of One Day in Guyana, a fiction chapbook, both due in 2022. Shannon is a former Ph.D. candidate in Continental Philosophy and a multi-time Pushcart Prize and BOTN nominee. She is passionate about social justice, ballet, Nietzsche, and every single cat. Follow Shannon on her website at shannonfrostgreenstein.com or on Twitter at @ShannonFrostGre.